Looking Back at The Zeroes

With a mere 2-odd weeks til 2010, I find myself reflecting back on a decade which we still haven't given a decent name to after a whole 10 years to figure it out (the 2000's? the naughts? the zeros?).

The decade started off with the Y2K scare (accurately portrayed in this snowglobe), under which we all anxiously awaited the stroke of midnight 01-01-00, at which time all components of our computer (including the mouse! how did that get in there?) would explode through the top of the monitor as it simultaneously displayed the date against a rainbow background. Disappointingly, this didn't happen. It did, however, set the tone for a decade of cheeziness.



Behold the king and queen of the 2000s. Looking at this picture, it's hard to believe that Justin Timberlake now passes as one of the coolest guys in the world and, if I recall correctly, he may even be the "sexiest man alive". I'm racking my brain to remember if this getup might have been cool at the time, but all possible coolness is instantly negated by the fact that they are wearing freaking matching denim outfits. Simultaneously, it's hard to believe that the decade for Brit Brit was only downhill from here.





I remember "dress-down" days at my Catholic school were celebrated occasions where we children could shed our blue-checkered uniform for a day and strut down the corridors in our coolest Tommy Hillfiger/Limited Too/FUBU gear. This scene could not have been complete without JNCO jeans and the countless variations of "fat pants" that spun off of them. They were a godsend for sufferers of elephantiasis of the legs, but they just made everyone else look fat and stupid.




The soundtrack of the decade started off with a bang, that bang eminating from the turntable of a (most likely white) DJ from one the early part of the decade's great Rap/Rock bands. At some great moment lost to time, angry white boys from the suburbs discovered that they could add a turntable to their band and start rapping instead of singing, and BAM! Next thing you know they're talking to Carson Daly about their upcoming Family Values Tour dates. Rap/Rock was supposed to be the ultimate hybrid of two superpower music genres, but a decade later I'm still waiting for the next album from Korn/CrazyTown/Limp Bizkit. What's takin so long you guyz??



In the midst of all that Rap/Rock madness on TRL, MTV decided to hold a contest called "I wanna be a VJ" or something to that effect. To everyone's surprise, an anorexic muppet named Jesse Camp (above) took home the big prize. He hosted TRL, made a music video, and even recorded a song with Stevie Nicks before the Jim Henson workshop called and asked if he was in their lost and found. He mysteriously disappeared off the air not long after he won the show, never to be seen again. To this day, it is the greatest mystery of the 2000s.

Carson Daly remains at large.