Favorite Sandwiches: Part 1

I love sandwiches. They are pretty much the greatest on-the-go food item ever devised, right behind Go-Gurt and bananas. Contrary to popular belief, sandwiches were NOT invented by the Earl of Sandwich, he just named them. Does anybody really think that until the 17th century nobody had the idea to put tasty shit between bread?

The answer is NO!!!!! Centuries of sandwich cuisine have culminated in these: LAUREN'S FAVORITE SANDWICHES. And don't think I don't know anything about food. I've eaten reindeer in Stockholm, fresh clams on the coast of the North Sea in The Netherlands, and I know what arugula is! You should trust my judgment here.


Today's sandwich comes from Caffrey's Deli on Lyndale. For the past 3 years, I have been depending on them to send dirty hippies in shitty cars to my house at 2am to bring me THIS:


This beaut. the Veggie Sandwich (#1 on the menu) is a combination of cucumbers, tomatoes, onions, roasted peppers, lettuce, muenster, provolone, and mayo. I don't get it with oil and vinegar because that turns it into a floppy, nasty bread rag filled with produce. Plus, even though technically a veggie sandwich should be "healthy", take note of the grease stain to the north of the sandwich. Mmm.

It's probably actually not that healthy, and I bet that annoying fat guy from the food network would LOVE it.

I can't watch his show, "Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives" without getting nauseous. Every episode features him eating Billy's Famous 2-Pound Double Jalapeno Cheddar Cheese Shit Burger or whatever, and getting disgustingly sweaty while doing so (see above). It's pretty much the same as going to the Old Country Buffet in Coon Rapids on a Friday night and sitting next to the Nascar table.

But yeah, that's a good sandwich.